June 16

This is (hopefully) the squirrel that added excitement to my day.

This is how Jordan tells the story:

Maia's mom was the first to see it, and she told us to hurry outside. Once I got out there, we decided it was dangerous ... See Moreand better off dead, and we quickly came to the consensus that shooting it was the best idea.

I shot once, and I am pretty sure that first shot was the one that killed it. However, it didn't really move after it had been shot the first time. It was clinging to the trunk of a tree, and I assumed that after I shot it once it would fall to the ground dead. I was horribly wrong. I shot a second time, which caused the squirrel to descend most of the way down the tree, but it was still holding on to the tree, but now it was twitching. I was sure it should be dead, however I didn't want the animal to suffer so I fired 3 more times to be sure that I had put it out of its misery. It was then laying on the ground on its back, looking incredibly dead. Just when I thought the ordeal was over, the squirrel started clawing and biting in my direction, which scared the hell out of me. I fire twice more, and after that the squirrel stopped moving again. I only had one round left, so I used it as well, just for good measure, since this squirrel was apparently invincible.

After that, I went and ate Mexican. I was pretty sure the squirrel would be gone when I got back(just like in every movie where they think they have killed the bad guy, and then he disappears). Thankfully, he was still there, and still very dead.

Working on the assumption that the squirrel had exhibited behavior most normal squirrels do not, so therefore it must be ill, I decided to burn it, because that it was you do to a zombie after you kill it.

One squirrel funeral pyre later, we buried his charred remains in a very deep hole. Because, you know, you can't be too safe.

So I'm pretty sure that had the squirrel bit me, I would have come down with some bizarre disease that makes me crave human flesh, and thus the Zombpocalypse would have began. Thanks to my quick wits and the knowledge gleaned from just recently playing lots of Resident Evil, I do believe I single-handedly saved humanity from catastrophe at the hands of the undead.